When a loved one is dealing with depression, knowing what to say—and what not to say—can make a significant difference. Depression is a challenging and all-consuming condition, and offering the right kind of support is crucial. Here are some guidelines on how to communicate effectively with someone who is experiencing depression.
What to Say to Someone with Depression
1. “I’m here for you.”
Offering your presence and support can be incredibly comforting. Letting your loved one know you are there, no matter what, helps them feel less alone.
2. “I care about you.”
Reassuring them of your care and concern can help boost their spirits and remind them they are valued.
3. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Validating their feelings can help them feel understood and accepted. Depression can make people feel guilty about their emotions, and hearing that it’s okay to feel the way they do can be relieving.
4. “You are not alone in this.”
Reminding them that others care and that they don’t have to go through this alone can provide significant emotional support.
5. “What can I do to help?”
Offering practical support can be beneficial. Whether running errands, cooking a meal, or simply sitting with them, showing a willingness to help in tangible ways is valuable.
6. “Take your time.”
Encouraging them to take their time with their recovery can relieve pressure. Recovery from depression is not linear, and knowing they have your patience can be comforting.
7. “Have you considered talking to a therapist?”
Suggesting professional help can be a helpful nudge toward seeking the necessary support and coping skills. If they feel comfortable with the suggestion, offer to help them find a therapist, sort through insurance or payment options, or accompany them to their first appointment.
What Not to Say to Someone with Depression
1. “Snap out of it.”
Depression is not something one can simply “snap out of.” This phrase can come across as dismissive and insensitive.
2. “Everyone feels this way sometimes.”
While it’s true that everyone experiences sadness, equating occasional sadness with clinical depression minimizes their struggle and can make them feel misunderstood.
3. “Look on the bright side.”
Though well-intentioned, this advice can feel invalidating. Depression often makes it challenging to see any positives, and this statement can come off as minimizing their feelings.
4. “You have so much to be thankful for.”
Gratitude can be helpful, but pointing out what they should be thankful for might make them feel guilty or ashamed for feeling depressed despite their blessings. Piling on guilt and shame is not productive.
5. “You just need to get out more.”
While exercise and socializing can help, implying that these activities are a cure-all solution oversimplifies the complexity of depression.
6. “It could be worse.”
Comparing their situation to others can make them feel their pain is invalid or insignificant.
7. “But you don’t seem depressed.”
Depression doesn’t always look the same and can often be hidden behind a smile. Assuming you know how depression should look can lead to misunderstanding and lack of support.
Supporting Through Depression Treatment
Supporting someone with depression involves empathy, patience, and understanding. Knowing what to say—and what not to say—can help your loved one feel seen, heard, and supported. By offering your presence and encouraging professional help, you can play a vital role in their journey towards recovery. Your support can make a world of difference to someone facing the challenges of depression.
